Making pies for Thanksgiving made me miss my mother. She used to sit at the counter the last 10 years of her life that she lived with us, and help me.
She would hand me things, open containers, stir when I needed her to. I didn't really "need" the help, but it made my heart sing to see how much she loved to do it.
We're all going to die. It's a fact of life. It's part of life.
We try to forget it, until it comes waltzing into our world, in one way or another.
We read about old school friends and acquaintance in the obits.
Sometimes, we read about people all too young, that we don't even know, but it somehow
makes us catch our breaths.
I have watched my cousin and her husband, dealing with getting older, and also with that dreaded, nasty thing they call Alzheimers. They should call it something else. I call it something else.
My cousin, is 13 years older than I am, but she has always amazed me with her energy, and how much she does not LOOK or ACT her age. Her husband was the same, until a few years ago.
It started gradually, and then by the time it was given a name, it was in high gear.
It is tragic, to see him still there. In body. Knowing full well that he is gone.
I am so distressed by it, I cannot sometimes imagine what it is like for her.
But at any rate, it has spurred me to think of how old age and all that it can bring, sneaks up on us all.
I hear so many people say, "oh, I've got lots of time."
Yeah, well, maybe you do.
And maybe you don't.
No one really knows.
So I did something that has been on my mind for a long time. Something that I felt needed to be done.
I went to my lawyer, and had him transfer the deed to the studio to my three daughters. My husband and I have "life estate", which means we can live there and do what we want to it, for as long as we live. But when we are gone, it is theirs, no will, no hassle, no probate, nothing to do.
And if, in 5 years, I should be incapacitated, and need nursing home care, the house belongs to them, and cannot be taken to pay for my care.
I asked my lawyer if there was any down side to this. He said there was only one. If you think someday you might want to sell it, then you will have to have your daughters sign it back over to you. But if you are pretty sure you never want to sell, then there is no reason. In fact, he said, I don't really know why more people don't do it, it makes such sense, and makes things so much easier for your heirs.
Anyway, it's done. And I feel relieved. I may stick around for a long time, or not. But either way, my girls own the studio, and all my hard work is safe.
Oh, I know they probably won't love it like I do. They'll probably sell it, and split the proceeds.
But then, I won't be worrying about it, either way.
And maybe in some way, it will make their lives easier. That makes me happy, now.
Because family and friends is what really matters, after all.
mm
