So many of you have followed my 3 year journey with this headache. Yes, it has been three years this month.
From the fall, to the first horrific surgery, to the second and third surgeries, you have been there supporting me and sending me good wishes, and support, at times when I thought I could not do one more day of it.
I have had times.....weeks even....of such a lowkey headache, that I thought I was in heaven, only to be reminded of its power when it came roaring back, putting me on my spot on the couch with Roy, interrupting my life, wreaking havoc with my plans, forcing me to my knees too often for me to count.
I have been angry, sad, mystified. Why? Where is this coming from? My neurosurgeon has read my latest MRI and said it looks terrific (as terrific as a head can look after they have been in there with drills and such THREE times)
So what is going on???
He suggested that I look into my sinuses, or actually have someone else do it.
So off to the ENT I went. He ordered a CT scan of my sinuses, which I have not received the results for. He put me on a 5 day course of Prednisone, to see if I got relief. He said that will tell us if your sinuses are the problem, it just won't tell us why they are the problem.
Well, I just finished the 5 days......and it was lovely. I had nothing more than a THREE the whole entire 5 days, and even into the 6th. I found myself thinking and feeling normal things, like I was almost NORMAL. There is no way to convey the relief that washed over me, even knowing that it might be brief. I wrapped myself up in it, relished it, dreamed of a future that has seemed almost impossible to imagine.
Last night, before my "presentation" on weaving rag rugs and Crazy as a Loom, at my weaving guild meeting, I realized it was back. Like a low key hum at first, then louder and louder.
I was so happy to fall into bed when I got home, knowing sleep was the only escape. This morning, FULL TILT SMASHER right between my eyes, over my forehead, over my nose.
One one hand, I am relieved....maybe this is the answer. On the other hand, a little voice says, "oh no, what will they do to you now???"
But larger than that is the question, which boggles my mind.......WHEN, dear God, WHEN, did my headache (which has not changed in character......facial from hairline to tip of nose, temple to temple) WHEN and HOW can it be that it went from my Chiari and basal invagination issue to my SINUSES???
What??? Were both issues there together, and one missed the entire time?? Did one pass the torch to the other, and when?
But looking back to 2011, when this started, I was weaving selvedge on the Union on a sunny, October afternoon, about 8 weeks after my fall. My headache started, little did I know that it would be with me every day for three years. At the time I said to L, "this selvedge is bothering my allergies, and giving me a headache."
The nightmare began right there. What is that saying on my sidebar, " You will never untangle the circumstances that brought you to this moment."
Oh, true words, how poignantly you strike my heart.
d
