This is one of the craziest, most intense, happiest, and still the saddest, most difficult, and most wonderful, times of my life.
How can that be?
Well, it just is.
My grandbaby, Dale, is soon to arrive. My heart sings. I get tearful, and so excited, I can barely stand it.
My mother is leaving us, slowly, but surely, and it breaks my heart.
My surgery is scheduled in a few weeks, at the same time too soon, and not soon enough.
Life is full of so many contradictions, it's hard work sometimes, to sort them out.
This morning, on the way to feed the cats at the studio, before I rushed back home, the contradictions were rampant.
I found myself smiling at a truck in front of me, the man talking to his dog who was sitting in the passenger seat, like a friend. The man would lean towards the dog, and say something, the dog would lean into the man, as if he were listening intently.
It made my heart glad. He didn't put his best friend in the back of the truck, to take his chances. He put him in the front, WITH him. I could tell that his dog was part of his life, and it made me so happy.
Then I get to the roundabout, where it should work effortlessly, like a dance, cars should glide through the circle, in a sweet slow motion. But no, some jackass has to gun it through the circle, to get in front of someone he thinks he needs to be in front of. In an instant, I experience the need to yank him out of his car, and slap him.
You see what I mean??
There are contradictions EVERYWHERE.
I feel that way most days, pulled this way, and that. Happy, sad, strong, scared, together, clueless.
One thing I do is continue to stay busy. It works for me.
More donuts, per request of youngest daughter.
Good thing that two of my daughters made off with a bunch of them.
I've been picking up free things by the side of the road.......tell me you could have resisted this???
I said, " I doubt it, you didn't get hurt when you had one."
And THIS ONE plays MUSIC.
AND has protective plastic over the springs. HA!
Roy, well, he is practicing for this next surgery....he is my stay at home nurse for that first couple of weeks when I am down for the count.
He is already SO GOOD AT THIS.
But in the end, I think that the positives rule. I have to believe that.
0 nhận xét:
Đăng nhận xét