WIP Wednesday...

 It's the perfect week for a WIP Wednesday! I just got back from a 10 day vacation, and I need to wrap my head around where my projects stand.

I had some fun with these crazy girls - and they both had birthdays to celebrate - so we had some partying too!

For the past several years I've made them birthday pillows - my pattern in the Martingale book Sew the Perfect Gift. This year I forgot to make new ones and they reminded me that they're not 5 and 3 any more. So the first thing I did when I got home was make new pillow covers...

Another project I'm ready to get back to is my On a Whim quilt. I'm using Florence by Denyse Schmidt. Twelve blocks are done - just 8 more to go!

I also started a new quilt this week! A Tumbler quilt has been on my to-do list especially after seeing Candace's "For the Birds" version. Yesterday I pulled some fabrics in happy colors of aqua, navy, green, pink and gray. I'm using this big print from Gracie Girl as my color inspiration and thinking it may make the perfect backing fabric.

The cutting went super quick using the "Crumbler", a nifty ruler from Carrie Nelson at Miss Rosie's Quilt Co. I think I'm ready to start sewing!

And finally, my October Lucky Stars BOM. This may be my favorite one so far :)

Linking up to Lee at Freshly Pieced!

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Appliqué with freezer paper and starch

Many of you asked about the method I'm using to prepare my Orange Peel appliqué pieces, so here you go...

I have 6 blocks done and I'm happy with how it's looking so far. The days start getting shorter, and many evenings are spent in front of the TV doing some relaxing hand sewing. I like having my pieces ready to go.

Start by tracing your pattern {I used this one} onto a piece of freezer paper. Before cutting it out, iron the traced piece on to a second piece of freezer paper - shiny side to dull side. This gives you an extra thick template to fold the edges against.

To cut out my fabrics, I made a second single layer freezer paper template and ironed it on to my fabric.  I layered four fabrics together and cut around the template about 1/4". This doesn't have to be exact.

Spray some heavy duty spray starch into a cup. {Magic sizing doesn't work as well and Best Press doesn't work at all} Let the foam evaporate.

With a dry iron, press your double layer freezer paper template on to the wrong side of the fabric.

Use a small paint brush to moisten one side of the petal's seam allowance with starch. Use your iron to turn under the seam allowance and press dry.

Repeat on the second half of the petal.

A little bit of seam allowance will peek out at the point. Just tuck this under later as you appliqué.

Once everything is pressed dry, remove the freezer paper and press the appliqué piece one more time. The freezer paper can be used over and over as long as you make sure it's dry each time. I've used mine 15-20 times before making a new one.

My background fabric is cut 10" {finishing at 9 1/2"}. By creasing it diagonally in both directions, I have a line to position my petals. My petals don't touch in the center, nor will they touch when the blocks are sewn together. I thought it would be easier to purposely have them not touch.

I'm hand appliquéing them by pinning them in place with tiny appliqué pins, then stitching with an invisible stitch using fine silk thread. Any fine thread that matches the color of your appliqué piece will work.

The trick to getting an invisible stitch is to come up from the back, catching just a few threads on the folded edge of the appliqué. Then go back down into the background at exactly the point where your thread came up through the fold of the appliqué. Come back up about 1/16"-1/8" from the previous stitch through the background and the folded edge of the appliqué. When you come to the point where a bit of the seam allowance is sticking out, just push it under with your needle and finish stitching.

Here's what the back looks like...

Let me know if you have any questions!!

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Feeling it all.

I have to first off say that I am a bit overwhelmed by all of you, the love and support and encouragement......ack.  You make me cry.
There aren't enough words to thank you all properly.
 Soon I will do a giveaway to celebrate making it through all this.

I am being "good", staying PUT for the most part, resting, and letting my body get over this last assault.  Nurse Roy is on the job.

 But I do feel amazingly WELL, a big surprise to me.  I expected, as did my family, that I would be knocked just about flat with a THIRD surgery in 14 months.  But not so.  Not at all.  In fact, if anything, I feel better than I have felt in two years.  Hallelujah, and amen.

Even good enough to take Roy for short walks by the river.

I am also conflicted, and while it is hard to talk about, you know that I will, because it is real, and it is happening.  I think that my current situation has made me as vulnerable and emotional as I ever want to be.

On one hand, I miss talking to my mother, terribly.  On the other hand, the relief of not having to care take another human being is immense.   So I walk around my house, seeing her everywhere, hearing her voice, and yet being soothed by the quiet and peacefulness that is so different from before.
I know it's ok, it's normal.  How could I NOT be conflicted???  My mother was not only a job to take care of with her many needs, she was emotionally difficult for the last year of her life.
Suddenly now, there is no blaring TV 12 hours a day, I do not have to shop for her, cook for her, schedule appointments for her, bathe her, do her laundry, take her to doctor visits, wake in the night to her call, rush home to check on her.  Then again, several times a day I start to turn to go tell her something, show her a baby picture, forgetting that she is not there. gulp.

It's over.

I don't regret taking care of her.  I am glad that she was here and not in the nursing home until the very end.
I am also happy to be free of that responsibility.
So the feelings of relief and sadness are swirling around my head, and most of the time, I just sit back and let it happen, because I don't know what else to do.  I keep telling myself that I did the best I could do.  It helps.

Here's what I do know.
I had my first daughter in 1968, my second in 1974, my third in 1981.  So you see that I had a small child for a LONG time.  I barely would get one in kindergarten, and I would have another newborn.
My youngest daughter left for college in 1999.  My mother left her home to move to mine in 2000.
So, the reality is that I have been responsible in a huge way for someone else since I was 21 years old.  FORTY FIVE YEARS.

It's my turn.
I don't want to sound selfish.  I loved my mother so much.
But it's still my turn.

I don't want much more than to just be happy.  I want to enjoy my family, my friends, my studio.
 I want to be able to be present in my own life, without the constant pain.
I may get what I wish for, I may not.
The spinal fusion doctor that assisted my neurosurgeon, said this: "If we were as smart as we think we are, you wouldn't have been here three times."
Then he went on to say that they have never seen this before, this crazy overgrowth of bone in a cervical spinal fusion, they don't know what to do about it, they are doing the best they can come up with, and hoping for the best outcome.
Ah, me too.

In the meantime, every day I text my daughter for my daily dose of sweetness.  This is the one she sent me today.
Baby Dale.  Or should I say Princess Dale?

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Third time's the Charm.

I must admit, that phrase was beginning to annoy me pre-surgery.  My head was slamming, and I couldn't imagine anything any different.  It was an awful place I was in. 
I have been exhausted with it, and probably not all that pleasant to be around.

When the stretcher I was on rolled into the same OR I'd been in twice before, the tears were just streaming down my face.   I wanted them to knock me out, and do it soon.  I wanted to escape, from the pain, and the anticipation of all that was coming.  The OR was full of people preparing for the EVENT about to occur.  I didn't want to see any of it.
Behind my closed eyes, I could see my mother's hand gently placed over mine.   Then I imagined kayaking on a crystal clear Adirondack pond.  That's the last thing I remember until I woke up in the Recovery Room.
The very first thing I did, having learned well from the two previous surgeries, was to move my feet, and my hands.  Ah.  I am not paralyzed or even close.  Put that fear aside.

Then my daughter appeared, looking relieved.  That meant everything.

I stayed in recovery all afternoon.   Two nurses took care of me: Debbie and Malvia.

The recovery room was rocking busy.  But about 4pm, it slowed down a bit, and both nurses sat there looking exhausted.  I asked them if they would come over to my stretcher.  They looked puzzled, but both got up, one on each side of me.
I had something to say.  I felt so compelled to say it, I could barely stand it, so I said:

"My mother just passed away, and this is my third surgery on my head in 14 months, AND I've had a headache for two years.  When I rolled into surgery this morning, I was nothing but a raw nerve.
I come out to recovery, and YOU TWO treat me like a human being, not just a patient.  You have been sweet and kind and caring to me all day long.  I can not begin to tell you how much I needed just that.  It is priceless, and you both are very special ladies.  I was going to send you a card, then I realized how much I just needed to tell you."

Here I am, after I was transferred to the surgical floor, next day I think.
My bff asked me where I got my Victoria Secret apparel from.
Ha!

I woke with this compulsion to get better NOW.   I demanded and ate a regular dinner that night.  I refused the bedpan, and went straight to the bathroom.   I walked in the hall the morning after.   
I'm OK, I'm OK, I'm OK........that's what I kept telling myself.
So much so that the doctors said I could go home.  We left Long Island on Thursday, the day after surgery, at about 7pm.  It was good, because we missed a lot of traffic.  I took the pain meds right before we left and slept most of the way home.  I got home at 10:30pm, and went right to bed.

  I really do wish they would stop messing with my head.  :)

Family has been to visit.  Cards and cards and phone calls of well wishes have come.

Sweetness has arrived.
If this doesn't make a body feel better, then nothing will.

Today my headache is a THREE.   Now THAT brings tears to my eyes.

A THREE?????   I could live with and LOVE a THREE.

I feel amazing.  I am hardly taking the pain meds.  I am blessed, so blessed.
All the prayers, all the good energy and positive thoughts of all my family and friends, have come to fruition. 
What else could it be?

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A Double Dose of Hilary

Hello wonderful and supportive friends of my namesake. 

This is the other Hilary (from The Smitten Image) writing on behalf of our dear friend Hilary (right here at Crazy as a Loom). She sent me an email from her phone, this morning and asked me to let you all know how she is doing.

In a nutshell (and we all know that Hilary is one tough nut), she's doing fantastic! Yay!

Here's her note to me, so that you can read for yourself. And smile. And tear up just a wee bit with relief and gratitude.

This surgey was half as long

I came out of anesthesia ready to rock

I don't understand but I'm grateful

Spasms in neck muscles not bad

This time feels different

My son in law texted me before surgery

And said what I guess I needed to hear

He said:

Kick ass, like you always do.

And I think I did

And I think my mom was in the OR

Just tell everyone that I'm really fine

And thanks for all well wishes and prayers

Think they held me up

and

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Orange Peel

Now that Fall is upon us and Winter not too far behind, I decided I needed a hand sewing project. Seems I spend much more time in the evening sitting on the couch and watching TV this time of year. I considered some EPP, but decided I hadn't had an appliqué project in a while. I thought about doing another Joseph's Coat, but wanting something a bit simpler, I went with the traditional Orange Peel block.

I'm using 10" squares of a light gray shot cotton for the background and rich colors of teal, orange, gray, green, eggplant and navy for the "petals". I'm leaving a tiny bit of space between the petals, so I don't have to worry about them touching perfectly and telling my self that this makes it a little more modern.

I've got 8 blocks ready to go and then I'l re-evaluate to see if I like the proportions. I'm hoping to use a different fabric for each petal {30 blocks x 4 petals = 120 fabrics}

My method for turning under the edges is freezer paper and starch. Let me know if any of you would like to see how I'm doing that!

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Getting ready.

The weekend was a tough one.  If anyone had ever told me I would experience pain like this and still be on my feet, I would have laughed out loud.  Of course, because it's right before surgery, I can't take any of the drugs that might take the edge off.  I did take a Hydrocodone on Friday and was sick all day.  And if the pain wasn't bad enough, then F.E.A.R. crept in.  You know the kind, the one that sneaks around and blindsides you when your defenses are next to zero.  All the what ifs in the world came to rest right on my shoulders. I wanted my mother.  I wanted to talk about it.  I wanted to scream it to wind.  I wanted to wake up and find that this was all a mistake.
But I know it's not.
It's not.

Today is another day.  I pulled myself together.  I needed to get my oil changed in my car, for the trip.  When I got to the studio after that, Next was waiting at the corner of the house, peeking around to see when someone would come in the driveway.

I could hear him purring as I got out of the car.
I picked him up, and nuzzled his head, and told him how much I loved him.
The breeze picked up, I lifted my face and saw the golden leaves on the green metal roof of the barn, the sun glinting off it all.  My eyes teared up again, and I thought: "It's still a beautiful world. Amen.  It is."

Headache be damned.
I am just one person.  If I am here, or not, the world will still spin, life will be lived.  The days will dawn.  The wind will blow, and the sun will shine. Babies will be born.  All the things I am afraid of can not change any of that.  So really, I ask myself, what is there to be afraid of?

Lois did the Fiber Festival all by herself this past weekend.......succesfully I might add.  You're not surprised?  Neither am I.
If you look up "dependable" in the dictionary, her picture SHOULD be there.
I didn't even make an appearance, that's what a wreck I was.

This morning, I did manage to wrap it all up from a business point of view, and then Lois said, "You'd better put your towels on your web site, now that the show is over."
So we took some pictures, and I came home and put them up, and sent out a newsletter.
But for all of you who don't get my newsletter, consider yourselves notified.
The TOWELS are up.

 

They have been prewashed, but not ironed.  I don't do that.

There are quite a few of them.  Look for number available below each picture.

You can get to them with this link.

 

DISH TOWELS  

And with that, I have to go and pack.  Mundane tasks to pass the time, until it's time.
A friend said to me on the phone today, " You might as well be hopeful, as bleak.  It all takes the same amount of energy." 
I said, "amen, dear friend, amen."

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