Chủ Nhật, 14 tháng 10, 2012

Just in case you worried.

I am ok.  In case you wondered where I've been.
Went on a little trip, just had a few days away.
Mostly, elder care is the issue, and time away from that gives one more capacity to deal.
Anything that works, you know.


I admit to being lazy though.. I had my camera with me, but used my Iphone the entire time.
It's kind of the same reason I wore jeans, my most threadbare and comfortable ones, and no makeup, not a smidge.  And my navy blue Gap hoodie that is older than my dog.
Why?
Because I don't care.  Honestly.  In fact, looking at it seriously, I can't imagine that I ever did.  Or why I ever did.
Change has a way of leveling things out, I find.  This is one of them.  I am coming to understand some things that have eluded me my whole life.


Maybe it's a whole year of my life in pain.  Maybe it's the fact that someone actually bared my brain, fixated my spine with rods and screws, and I lived to tell about it.
Maybe it's something else that I can't see.
But I'm different.
I'm better, even though it might not look like it at first glance.  I am so over worrying about some things.


Maybe it's Eckhart Roy.  The lessons he has for me every day.


But here I am, home again.  It is raining outside, and I am comfy on my couch, with Eckhart snoring next to me, my knitting waiting patiently until I am done here.  I have no idea what is in store for dinner, I have nothing that needs to get done hounding my every thought, I am not one bit worried that I am not being productive, that the studio and the looms lie vacant while I contemplate knitting the afternoon away.
I don't care.
I am in this minute, right here, and it is fine.
Cuppa tea, knit.

I think I have just entered the rest of my life.


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